Fear of Rejection Robs Us of JoyI was terribly afraid of the abuse I suffered in the past coming to light. What would people think? Would they reject me? Would they blame me or hate me? The devil had lied to me for at least twenty-five years about how people would view me if they knew about my past, so I worked hard at keeping it a secret.
The effort it took to conceal my past was draining. I can understand why people who are always trying to please others are often anxious, unhappy and tired much of the time. The effort to please others takes a lot out of them, and they feel guilty taking any time for themselves.
People-pleasing is Bad for Your Health
Some people-pleasers rarely focus on themselves in a proper manner. When they do take a moment for themselves, they feel selfish, indulgent, and guilty, which is why they are often on the go, rushing to get things done, striving to keep everyone happy.
This becomes a vicious circle: Because they stay so busy doing for others, they usually work harder than most people. Because they accomplish so much and are so easy to get along with, they are often the first to be asked to do things. As a result, they are vulnerable to being taken advantage of because they have difficulty saying no. They usually don't even consider that saying no is an option for them. They just assume that they should do whatever anyone asks them to do, no matter how unreasonable it is. When they do venture out and say no to a request, they often change that no to a yes if people act angry or displeased.
People-pleasing Leads to Missed Opportunities
In John chapter 12, we see a group of people pleasers who missed out on the greatest opportunity in history, the chance to walk alongside Jesus. John tells us that many had seen Jesus’ signs and knew that Jesus was real. They believed in Him, but they were afraid that the Pharisees might throw them out of the Temple. Their love of approval would not permit them to have a true relationship with Jesus.
I wonder how their lives turned out. What did they miss because they said yes to people and no to God? I wonder how many of them were never mentioned in the Bible again. I wonder if they faded into oblivion and never fulfilled their destiny because they loved the approval of men more than the approval of God. How many of them spent their lives disrespecting themselves because they were people-pleasers?
Break Free from Those Bonds!
Everyone needs affirmation, especially those who have been emotionally wounded or hurt by someone. But we have more power than we realize we do.
We don’t have to live life in fear of what others think of us. In fact, we can help people when we’re willing to share our hurts. Right words spoken at the right time have the power to heal. Testimonies of how God has healed the hurting can be those inspiring words others need to hear.
Live to please God, not people. You have His approval, and that is all you really need!
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